An Old Soul

So, at what point was someone going to tell me that being a parent automatically makes you old? And by old, I don’t mean my chronological age (somewhere in the late twenties). I mean out of sync with pop culture, incapable of staying awake after 10pm, and obsessively watching the Goddamn NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams, followed by a riveting 30 minutes of Jeopardy every night (If Brian or Alex are reading, I think you two are the bee’s knees).  This post is not meant to be ageist. In fact, I think American society should be paying more attention to the older and wiser, rather than worrying about what’s going in or out of Snooki’s va-jay-jay, but I digress. This post is my examination of a seemingly overnight transformation from Dakota Fanning to Diane Keaton.

Yesterday, I reminded my husband about the VP Debate, and this was his response: “Oh, yeah. Should we, like, go to a sports bar or something to watch it?” Dear, sweet hubby…WHY ON GOD’S GREEN EARTH WOULD I WANT TO DO THAT? Is he even more out of touch with youth than me? I quickly realized that he was joking and probably wanted to watch the football game- I’m sure he is sick of Brian and Alex. Shockingly, we stayed home and watched the debate (on NBC with Brian Williams) while sitting on the couch.

A few months ago, we were asked to tag along to a party for a friend of a friend, and upon arrival, discovered it was a girl’s 21^st birthday party. I know, right? I almost had a panic attack. Thank God I didn’t bring a bottle of wine. I quickly went into survival mode, looking for ways to not look so obviously old. I debriefed my husband on the subjects to avoid discussing (401K, insurance, childbirth, mortgages, etc.). When some kid came up to us and asked, “Aren’t you a little old to be here?” it was apparent that my efforts had failed me.

More recently, I saw a kid point to me and say, “Mom, look at that lady’s dress.” AHEM…LADY????? Since when am I a lady? I thought I was a girl. You know, like, “Hey, look at that girl’s dress!” Not LADY!

Needless to say, I am making a valiant effort to be more youthful. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to set the DVR to record the Nightly News.